On another news, war breaking out in our place! I wasn’t able to blog about this but yeah, right now I’m in my home town that is full of chaos. Yesterday at 5:30 pm, 2 bombs went off inside city property. One was at a motel near the National High and the other another hotel few blocks from the old gaisano building. Then just a few hours from now, a jeepney and a bus in maigo and kauswagan [neighbouring towns] was taken and people in it were massacred. At the moment, the town right next to us, which is linamon is under attack by the MILF and they say iligan’s gonna be next. God how I wish I was given a fire arm and a licence to kill

But of course, with pro’s also comes cons. one of the things I dislike about plurk, is the so called karma. You  gain karma if you post on plurk, reply on your friends plurk’s, or at best, do site activities. Attaining a certain karma level allows you to unlock certain site features, like being able to change your background, more smilies and change of characters [upper right logo]. Not that I dislike it and all, but the certain feature discourages users to use plurk as it is. They cannot change their background coz they still don’t have enoug karma, they cannot use certain smilies, etc… And it’s really hard since plurk just started, you don’t have any friends to whom you may have activities with.

Since plurk is still on development period [not to mention they still haven't released API] I think I’ll just use both for fun and experimentation. But until plurk alone satisfies my needs, I’m with twitter.

Anyways, I’ve uploaded a couple of new pics of my son on my FaceBook here. I’ve also created a doll² and plurk page for fun. Ciao all.

My choices has only created chaos…

Title: Hands Down
Artist: Dashboard Confessional

Breathe in for luck, breathe in so deep.
this air is blessed, you share with me.
This night is wild, so calm and dull.
These hearts they race, from self control.
Your legs are smooth, as they graze mine.
We’re doing fine, we’re doing nothing at all.

My hopes are so high, that your kiss might kill me.
So won’t you kill me, so I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury.
Or wear as jewelery, which ever you prefer.

The words are hushed lets not get busted; just lay entwined here, undiscovered.
Safe in here from all the stupid questions.
“Hey did you get some?”
Man, that is so dumb.
Stay quiet, stay near, stay close they can’t hear.
so we can get some.

My hopes are so high, that your kiss might kill me.
So won’t you kill me, so I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury.
Or wear as jewelery, which ever you prefer.

Hands down this is the best day, I can ever remember.
I’ll always remember, the sound of the stereo.
The dim of the soft lights,
The scent of your hair, that you twirled in your fingers.
And the time on the clock, when we realized it’s so late.
And this walk that we shared, together.
The streets were wet, and the gate was locked.
So I jumped it, and I let you in.
And you stood at your door, with your hands on my waist.
And you kissed me like you meant it.
And I knew, that you meant it,
That you meant it,
That you meant it,
And I knew,
That you meant it,
That you meant it.

Music Hosted By: iMeem
Lyrics From: eLyrics

Well anyways, It was a tiring week and they finally left for Iligan yesterday. Giving me my dayoff today [Again I wasn't able to attend NSTP2 coz I slept the whole day]. Lucky, I was able to get my cellphone back and things turned out pretty much fine. But a bummer thou, there was a time that while we were off at SM shopping for stuff. Can’t explain why, but my head felt like it was about to explode! We went to Kenny Rogers for dinner and I wasn’t able to eat well cuz of the headache. Then just a day before they left [yesterday and today], I head a toothache. The migraine was so painfull that I had to force myself to sleep, just to pass the pain out [I have really bad teeth since a was a kid due to candy and chocolates].

On the same day that I had my first toothache for the week, my ulcer also gave a show and had me crawling like hell for the pain and agony. With all that, right after they headed for home [Iligan], I went to an optometrist to have my eye check. Tests were taken and yeah on the part where you get to read with one eye, I wasnt able to read 2 lines above the red line [weird thing was, everything was so clear with both eyes]. Un surprisingly, I had -.75 and needed glasses. Thou still not sure when, I wanna have a general checkup maybe this month or so. I still got my studies to finish, a job to work on and a son to raise. I don’t wanna die till my son get’s to finish college [which is a long way ahead].

Just yesterday night, we went out to drink. We drank and drank and had fun, but deep inside I was crying. Deep inside I had a problem so deep that I wasn’t able confide to anyone. My family and wife’s at Iligan and only family I have here is my aunt who I’m living with right now, but I can’t seem to open up everything to her since I’m too shy to talk about it. I have a close cousin that lived with us since I was in 5th grade till 3rd year high but she’s too busy with her college life that It’s hard to even contact her.

So yesterday, I barfed and cried my problems out. You may laugh and make fun of the situation saying I was drunk or something. but actually I just had no output to my family problems that we’re affecting my studies. Seen the coke advertisement where the girl was fetched by her father coz her parents weren’t together anymore for some reason? It’s one of my greatest fear. I’m afraid something would come to the point where I’d be only able to play my son by fetching him. Why? He grew up on his Lolo and Lola’s care [wife's side], I really never was there to support him.

My mind’s really confused right now on what to do. Jake yesterday worsened my fear, he told me bout how hard it would be to get my son out of my in-law’s hands. It’s like you really wanna be there for your son but can’t actually do anything cause if you don’t finish your studies, it would be useless. I’m even confused on what to do first, study or go home and take care of my own family.