My Site, My Life

I initial made this site for my thoughts to be spurted out, but due to my self consciousness and fear of being seen as a self centered person it rendered the site useless.

Just yesterday night, we went out to drink. We drank and drank and had fun, but deep inside I was crying. Deep inside I had a problem so deep that I wasn’t able confide to anyone. My family and wife’s at Iligan and only family I have here is my aunt who I’m living with right now, but I can’t seem to open up everything to her since I’m too shy to talk about it. I have a close cousin that lived with us since I was in 5th grade till 3rd year high but she’s too busy with her college life that It’s hard to even contact her.

So yesterday, I barfed and cried my problems out. You may laugh and make fun of the situation saying I was drunk or something. but actually I just had no output to my family problems that we’re affecting my studies. Seen the coke advertisement where the girl was fetched by her father coz her parents weren’t together anymore for some reason? It’s one of my greatest fear. I’m afraid something would come to the point where I’d be only able to play my son by fetching him. Why? He grew up on his Lolo and Lola’s care [wife's side], I really never was there to support him.

My mind’s really confused right now on what to do. Jake yesterday worsened my fear, he told me bout how hard it would be to get my son out of my in-law’s hands. It’s like you really wanna be there for your son but can’t actually do anything cause if you don’t finish your studies, it would be useless. I’m even confused on what to do first, study or go home and take care of my own family.